Opening a Horcrux

Sometimes I understand so well why we build walls inside, why we ignore our sensitivity and just act as if nothing bothers us.
I know.
Building walls will probably close our heart.
Suppressing our sensitivity will most likely dim the light in our eyes.
Pretending all is fine when it's not might lead to an outburst of rage some day, exploding or imploding, whatever route seems easiest.

But at least we will not have to face our fears and the difficulty of changing our deepest programming.

The Background

Beautiful blog by Colleen Loehr on shifting our attention from content (thoughts, feelings, objects etc) to 'the background'; that in which everything, including you and me, appears...

Lately there has been a noticing of the Background.
My husband Greg and I were talking about it yesterday, and spent some time in silence relaxing into the Background. Attention moves to a region behind the head, and the mind tends to quiet down effortlessly. Read more...

From her blog: A window is where the wall is absent

Enjoying Growth

Lets explore the idea of Growth and ask some interesting questions.... Why do we love the idea of growth/progression? What about just dropping the label and enjoy what we experience?

read more

(This article was published originally on

Drop it like it's hot

If you want to travel light, then just drop any story that comes up.
Especially the ones that seem important.
The ones that insist that you should think of a solution. Or take a stand.
Before you know it, you are carrying two suitcases filled with mental garbage.

Actually I am writing this for myself 
(don't I always)
because an IMPORTANT ISSUE is creeping up again lately.
To be honest it has been creeping up since forever,
presenting itself as a familiar knot in my stomach.

Old reaction: I must think of a proper strategy.
If not, I will be lost.
Result: My thoughts swirl around like bees, filling the suitcases with useless armor.
(I am the only one noticing the weight)
Conclusion: It doesn't work. Never has, never will. But there you go.

Insight: Thoughts can never free you of thought. 
(And every problem is a result of thought. Ever experienced a problem when you were without thought?)

Right. So there is only one thing left to do.
Drop it like it's hot.
Just like that.

Time for a dog hug

There are people who think that because of what I do (teaching others about meditation) and say or write (about how to become happy) I am always relaxed, lighthearted and going with the flow.

Just to set this straight.... 

Today my upper back feels like I am carrying a dead horse around. 
Actually this started three days ago. 
It's quite a weight.
Caused by tiny thoughts and beliefs.
(It must be them; I just checked, there is no horse.)

These thoughts, in turn, create a dense, muddy pool of feelings settling around my heart, causing my muscles to cramp. 
Depriving me from sleep at night.

I am an inner worrier type. I am good at being brave when the enemy is in clear sight.
I am not so good at dealing with paralysis.
With that muddy pool that whispers I am a failure and seems unimpressed with my bold warnings.

It takes clarity to recognize what is happening. 
The mud is clouding my eyes, filling my ears. 

All I can do is love myself right in the middle of it.
Love myself right in the heart of feeling unable to free myself.
Yes, that's it.

Time for a cup of tea and a dog hug.

Keeping up the facade

"Keeping up the facade of being ‘someone with a story’ takes so much effort and is so exhausting. You have to keep telling yourself the story again and again, in case you forget.
What would happen if you would just forget? If you would just forget who you are, or what your storyline is? Does Life just stop? Does Life give a damn? The wind still blows and the rain still falls. The flowers still bloom and the birds still tweet. Life doesn’t need your story. Life doesn’t care about your story, or who you think you are. Do you?"

Unmani (Liza Hyde)

A fresh look on meditation

Maybe you are one of those people who would like to meditate but find it
difficult to do. Maybe you've tried it sometimes, but felt that that quiet, serene state you are supposed to experience was way out of reach; all you noticed were your legs hurting and your mind racing, leaving you with a feeling of failure and frustration.

But then again there is this longing to be more at ease, more at peace with yourself and a wish to escape the never ending pressure of the mind. What to do? It could be time to take a fresh look at meditation. Read more...
(This article was published originally on

Falling into how it is and loving it

Life get’s to be so simple when I realize there is nothing outside of this moment.
There’s nothing but this, here, now!
What about all the stories?
All my thoughts about who I should be, how to relate to other people, how to finally become successful, the Problem With My Mother bubble, the I’m Not Living My Potential story.

My body believes these stories, tensing up, even when I write about it I feel something vaguely tightening around my neck. 
All that stuff that I drag along.
Having so little to do with reality.
They just seem so easy to get lost in...did you ever notice the moment a story begins?

Actually, the stories in our heads are so innocent. Intense, painful, dramatic...but innocent. They can dissolve just like that, in a moment's time, leaving no trace or proof of existance.

Do you know what you were thinking yesterday?
An hour ago?
A minute ago?
All these nights you spent in deep worry, going over and over the story again. Where is it now?

Right at this moment, at the kitchen table typing these words, the sun touches my face through the window (spring is in the air) and all is well. The whole circus simply doesn’t exist! Never has! Never will!
And all that is left is filling my chest like a warm breeze of happiness.


An Invitation To Rest Deeply

Here’s some very good news.
Right here, right now, in this moment, you don’t have to ‘figure out’ the rest of your life, no matter what anyone says.
You don’t need all the answers. They will come, in time, or not, or perhaps the unncecessary questions will fall away.
There is no rush. Life is not in a hurry. Be like the seasons. Winter is not trying to become summer. Spring does not rush towards autumn. The grass grows at its own pace. Read more...

On thoughts

How much longer are we going to listen to the mind as if it knows something?
As if it is creative, or intelligent?
Thoughts merely seem to repeat the same thing over and over again.
Here are some thoughts that pop up in my head regularly.

"You should have been more productive this day"

"It takes far too much time for you to write something"
"If you would be really good at what you do, you would be more succesfull"

Does it make me more productive?
Does it make me finish my writings any sooner?
Does it make me more successful (whatever that means)
Ha ha

So why listen to something that doesn't work? Why shrink, why feel bad, feel ashamed?

The mind just repeats what seemed true once. 
Or what seemed to be the best solution at the time: blaming yourself.

It's like when you renovated your kitchen and you are still looking for the knives in the wrong drawer for a year or so; habits have a way of lingering on.

Thoughts are just habits.
Doesn't mean they are right.

I decided today to not take them so seriously.


3 Reasons to Stop Trying So Hard to Be Positive and Peaceful

By Lisa Esile
“Freedom is instantaneous the moment we accept things as they are.” ~Karen Maezen Miller
The world is filled with people who work hard at being positive, peaceful, and more spiritual and who then feel bad when they don’t measure up. I know because I used to be one of them. And I still am from time to time. Read more..