Time for a dog hug

There are people who think that because of what I do (teaching others about meditation) and say or write (about how to become happy) I am always relaxed, lighthearted and going with the flow.

Just to set this straight.... 

Today my upper back feels like I am carrying a dead horse around. 
Actually this started three days ago. 
It's quite a weight.
Caused by tiny thoughts and beliefs.
(It must be them; I just checked, there is no horse.)

These thoughts, in turn, create a dense, muddy pool of feelings settling around my heart, causing my muscles to cramp. 
Depriving me from sleep at night.

I am an inner worrier type. I am good at being brave when the enemy is in clear sight.
I am not so good at dealing with paralysis.
With that muddy pool that whispers I am a failure and seems unimpressed with my bold warnings.

It takes clarity to recognize what is happening. 
The mud is clouding my eyes, filling my ears. 

All I can do is love myself right in the middle of it.
Love myself right in the heart of feeling unable to free myself.
Yes, that's it.

Time for a cup of tea and a dog hug.

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