When you look in the mirror
and stop apologizing,
stop being the good girl
the nice guy
the trusted one
what do you see?

It is the face
your gut knows,
the unwavering one
your strength hidden
behind  your doubts
and confusion

It is your power
lulled to sleep
stripped of its claws
the dangerous one
the one you forgot
that’s calling you home


Ever noticed how life carries you like a meandering river?
How nothing ever stays the same?
How you can’t hold on to your fear
your agony,
your worried thoughts?

They will have to make place 
for the next thing to happen;
the postman delivering a package
someone telling you a story
the phone ringing

After that, you try to remember again
what was on your mind
before life distracted you
Ah… yes,

Or perhaps you dare
to let the sparkling river take you

leaving your thoughts unfinished,
your fear unguarded,
your grudge unattended

just like that

Just to sit for a while

So nice sometimes to just sit for a while.
In the garden. 
Or somewhere quiet.
In your own company.
Letting go of all these small burdens that somehow settled on your shoulders.
Letting go of roles you play, taking them a wee bit too serious.
Letting go of it all.

Perhaps it’s a women’s thing.
To focus on the needs of others and lose your center in doing so.
Which isn’t helpful for anybody.
And certainly not solving anything.

So this morning I sat down with my coffee on a bench in the garden.
Feeling like the possum with the babies on her back.
Bit like an overpopulated planet.

What a relief to let go.
Let go of my imagined responsibilities.
Of worries about things that are already in the past.
To simply be weightless and here.

And how amazingly life reacts when you are available again!

Available to the fresh morning air.
To the cat.
To the moment.
To myself.