Dear reader,
My name is Esther Teule and I live in Lelystad, the Netherlands with two people (and a dog) I love immensely; my husband Ruud and my beautiful daughter Floor.
Long ago I used to be a pop singer in a band (i.a. with my two brothers and to-be husband) and did a lot of voice-over stuff for radio and television. That seems like another life now! (I'm from 1963, so some will say this is a life time ago :-))
Anyway, after years of doing that, I felt inspired to try some other 'art forms' like writing and making objects. Did a lot with mosaic, but also other with other materials. (In case you are interested here's the website although I haven't put much on there lately)
In the meantime
In the meantime I was doing all kinds of courses to find out what life was about, what I was about, the deeper meaning of it all... so I plunged into the word of energies, aura's and healing. I just loved the beauty of it. But after some years I still had no clue so I felt I wasn't going to find any real answers there...
So I moved on and found a spiritual school teaching a mixture of eastern philosophy/meditation and western psychological knowledge. A great mix that taught me much about how my person was caught up in unconscious patterns and how to become a freer "me". I thought I found what I was looking for but it turned out that I was indeed freer, but not free! Despite all the years of working on myself!
To make a long story short
In the following years I came to understand that freeing myself was not possible.
I came to see that "me " was just an idea.
How can you ever free an idea? It doesn't work!
Slowly I understood that there was ever only this moment of experience. The rest is all just entertaining (or not so entertaining) thoughts.
–I didn't realize this just like that; Ruud (yes the one I was so lucky to marry!) helped me to see this, together with various authors that were so kind to write books–
That we don't need to fix ourselves.
That we are fine the way we are.
Stop worrying!
I could stop worrying now.
(Sometimes I forget. I get lost in the idea of me again, believing I am not good enough. Actually, his happens regularly.)
But more and more there is this simple happiness bubbling up in the recognition that I'm home, as I am. That you are home, as you are. That there is no such thing as finding salvation because we are already in the middle of it! That I can finally rest, not in a nondescript space, or in "the here and now" but as I am.
This fuels my inspiration to write this blog and share other people's writings about these matters.
And hope to inspire you too –
xxEsther
